Monday, July 1, 2013

The Story So Far

First, let me introduce myself. My name is Amy. I live in a rural part of Virginia with my husband
Nick and our three year old son Gabriel. Gabriel is my biological son. God has been gracious to Nick and I and blessed us with fertility. Our desire to pursue adoption did not start out because of the Lord closing that door.

Instead my story starts early. By early I mean around middle school. I am a woman in my mid thirties so this itching to have an adopted child is not rooted from a desire to follow Hollywood stars. It was a little scratch that God put in my heart and mind. He wanted me to adopt.

When I met my husband I was the wayward son, err daughter. Away from my walk but always loved by my Father. He watched after me. He gave me a husband who was an atheist but as I like to say was struck on the road to Damascus. God has worked mightily in my husbands life. Bringing Nick to know the Lord and now to a point where Nick is pursuing a call to ministry. I could not be a more blessed woman.

Through this pilgrimage called life God has given me this one commandment. Adopt. I was even reluctant to have a biological child. It never occurred to me that any of my children would be biological. God wanted me to adopt. Nick wanted a biological child. I love Nick and he is the head of our home so along came our beloved Gabriel.

That command. That itch. It never left. God started filling my life with people who had adopted. Gave me a friend who had begun the adoption process. God was no longer whispering His command. He was shouting.

Nick was uneasy about the prospect. Of course God knew how to soften Nick's heart. The Lord led Nick to read the book "Adopted For Life" by Russell Moore. There is a story in the book of a couple who come to Moore for counseling about their fertility issues. Pastor Moore asked the couple, do you wish to protect your genetic code or do you wish to be parents. Wow. Just Wow. Nicks heart became soft.

We moved forward with our decision. We picked what we thought to be a stable and reputable adoption agency, Christan World Adoption. We sold my car. We drained our bank account. We borrowed against our 401k. We saved, saved, saved. All we needed was airfare.

We had no referral for a child at this point. We had no idea when a referral would come. CWA was very tight lipped about how long we would wait or where we were in line.

I will never forget that Friday. Nick and I were at Subway enjoying lunch. Our tax returns had hit our bank account that morning. We promptly moved the money into savings. Airfare was under control. Everything was in order. All we needed now was Sophia. Nick opened his email during lunch. He read the fateful letter that CWA sent declaring their bankruptcy.

The money was gone. All of it. Every blessed penny was gone. Money that was supposed to have been in escrow to pay for orphan care in Ethiopia had been used for the best of my reasoning to keep the lights on at CWA.

I felt the air leave me like I had been sucker punched in the gut. For weeks, even months later I felt a pain when I breathed. An ache. Like a death. I have suffered a miscarriage before. That is exactly what this felt like.

I mourned.

Mourned the baby that I thought was Sophia.

My husband was the strength of our little family. He picked up the pieces. He talked with leaders in the adoption community. He was our prayer warrior. He led with authority and by the grace of God Nick was led to our new adoption agency.

Lifeline Children's Services was our new raft in the sea of paperwork. They lovingly led us through the muck of despair over a failed adoption. They pray for us and our adoption efforts. I can literaly feel the love of Christ from them. I have enjoyed a peace with them that I never felt with CWA.

Today we are waiting. Waiting for 15-18 months at this point. Waiting for our very first number to tell us where we are in line. A number that will be updated each month. A number to keep me hopeful. I praise God for His mercy in providing such a simple thing as a number to ease this Momma's heart as she waits.

The money is gone but God has behind all of this. His powerful hand guiding all of it. Lessons upon lessons have been learned. Many times have I been able to share this story and share the love of Christ because of my story. I thank Him for it.

I thank Him for His provision. I thank Him for this call. I thank Him for the family already within my home and for the tiny girl in Ethiopia destined to be my daughter. I thank Him....


  1. Got this bookmarked. Thank you for sharing this journey, Amy.

  2. I just cried as I read this Amy. Tears of sorrow, tears of hope and tears of joyous days to come. Beautifully written

  3. Amy, I am so sorry to hear of your trials. I am sure God has a plan and is still guiding your adoption. My prayers are with you.

  4. Your faith is such a strength. It's been a looooong time since I've visited your website. This truly is Gods plan and he will make it all good for your sweet family. HUGS.